Dear Thomas Jefferson,

You had some really good ideas.  I like the whole educated populace yeoman farmer thing.  You were really down with the whole Enlightenment deal, and I dig that.  And, listen, I get it, you were limited by your time and circumstances.  We all are.

But, I mean, you were so close.  All you had to do was apply this whole egalitarian all men are created equal stuff to all people and we really could have had something!  States might have functioned sustainably with relative autonomy.  The federal government might have stayed weak.  I mean I get it, local, buy fucking local.

No really, I get it.  Books and wine are expensive, and, honestly, who’s going to bring them to you if you let everyone go to U of VA, whenever they feel like it, for free?

You gave it over to the federalists!  You said you wanted an academic and egalitarian society and then you FUCKED YOUR SLAVES!!!  You fucking your slaves fucked all of us, because now five white guys with roman numerals behind their names and an Asian (who my public school education has given me just enough training not to call a Chinaman) are running EVERYTHING!!!

You wanted education for every citizen, but you didn’t want to let everyone be a citizen, and so like dumb chattel we’ve been giving more and more power to fewer and fewer people.

And, man, I know Sally must have been a dish, but maybe she would have stuck around even if you hadn’t had a title on her.  I know you already had Martha, but you were a progressive kinda guy.  Maybe the three of you could have made it work.  Different strokes and all.

Seriously, who decides they need to disassemble a top down system and then leave a top down system?  You, Tom… YOU.

AND YOU KNEW IT WAS WRONG!!!  You said it was wrong?  Fuck man, that ginger giant George gave up a kingship and you couldn’t be bothered to spend a little bit less money on Madeiras and STOP OWNING PEOPLE… WHICH YOU KNEW WAS WRONG!!!

You were greedy, Tom.  You knew to rotate your crops, but you kept planting tobacco.

Aww well, you were only human…  Man, you had some great ideas.

Education for all.  Agriculture for all.  Science for all.  Arts for all.  Local determination for all.  Perhaps enough time has lapsed that we can leave the legacy of your hypocrisy and get on with the implementation of your ideas.